Moment

personal diary

img_2680

Anxiety is an ache that I often feel a little too much. Some days I feel like I’m progressing, there is positivity, productivity and a confidence in what I can do. Other days, I spiral into a deep dark hole and I sink low, comparing myself to others. How terrible, right? Anxiety affects a lot of us, especially us woman and it is something that usually dissolves into uncertainty. So, in spirit of opening up here more, I just want to remind you girls of something, something that I need to be reminded of from time to time. Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that – thoughts. We swim with hundreds of different thoughts every day – and just like the books we read, the music we listen to, the clothes we put on – we choose what goes up in our brains. Choose what you believe. And, I can’t stress this enough, all we have is the moment – right now. Be mindful of that. Jump into the moment, live it! Do something real. Forget your e-mails, Facebook, Instagram for a few hours. You will feel better, you will feel more like you, and you are amazing! Anxiety, they come and go. Feelings come and go too. Our thoughts, are a flow that we can control – you are you, be you, enjoy you – appreciate all of you right now and every moment in between!

The Upside-Down

personal diary

spring-in-hokkaido-media-trip-with-parlo-tours-air-asia-x-256

Perhaps this is an overshare. But whatever I spill here are true to how I feel. I suffer terribly from menstrual bloating. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel disgusted. Once a month I go from my usual size 32/6 jeans to elastic waistbands only. And every month it humiliates me, zaps my confidence down to zero and I will crawl into that dark place where I will call the upside-down (if you know where I got that from, I love you!). I feel uncomfortable in all my clothes and will usually do everything I can to stay home, alone. I secretly shuddered the last time the man I’m dating tried to touch me. Leave me alone!┬áMy mood is just terrible, the worst. It is borderline satanic. It is epic hard work being a woman, our┬áhormones are total despot, capable of altering not only our moods but our body shape too. All of us, as women deserve trophies for dealing with that all the time, our entire lives. I hate it when boys think we’re over reacting and use period as an excuse to lash out incessantly. Shh, I say. You know nothing. It’s a monthly personal hell. And you know nothing. So, Shhh.