WONDER / WONDERING

personal diary

echopunya_phuket_2015

I wonder. I’m wondering what my priorities should be throughout the next two sweet years short of 35. Wondering will I ever settle down with a good man. Wondering if I want to have children. Wondering about coffee, the three Americanos I shouldn’t have everyday. Wondering about clean eating and if should jump on that bandwagon. Wondering about vaping, is it really not as bad as cigarettes? Wondering about living in Germany and will I ever master the language. Wondering about my brother, whom I love, but also irritates me. Wondering about one of my sisters, wondering why is she the way she is.  Wondering about Instagram, wondering if I love or hate the little app I scroll through every day. Wondering about my hair, thinking about going darker, thinking about how messy it is most days. Wondering about these eyebrows of mine, last night I assertively decided that they aren’t great at all. Should I do something about them, do I care about my eyebrows at all? Wondering about how short my lashes are and that I am actually envious of my boyfriend’s long & full lashes, they are far greater than mine. Wondering what my friends in London, Rotterdam, Madrid and beyond are doing right now. Wondering if they miss me. Wondering if one friend is irritated that I’m taking too damn long to reply her letter. Wondering about all the big words that I don’t understand in this new book I’m reading. Wondering why I don’t like going out. Wondering if I’m far duller now than before. Wondering will I ever be rich. Wondering what will I do in the next years. Wondering why some people are cosmically placed in my life just to taunt me. Wondering why people can’t just respect my space. Wondering why I wonder too much. Wondering about things I’m wondering. Even the word wondering has me wondering.

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