365 days ago, right around this time, I was at the restaurant below my apartment, having dinner for the first time with my now boyfriend, Michael Grudziecki. It was one of those perfect night where the wine was flowing and conversations went on for hours. I didn’t want the night to end so I invited him to my home and we ended up talking until it was very, very late. He left the next morning to catch a flight to Thailand. I was sad because I thought that was it, it has to end there, no? But I found myself packing a suitcase 4 days later to meet him in Bangkok and it was lovely. We parted ways at the airport and promised to keep in touch. Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. Speaking from experience, that is just what men say to be polite. I expected nothing. But somehow, things are different with this man. We had our very first FaceTime the next day. And we started sending emails which now evolved to love letters. We have datenight on Fridays – where we actually dress up and meet via FaceTime. I traveled to Munich and we went on a road trip to Marianske Laszne, Prague, Wroclaw and Berlin. I met his family and I hope they like me. 5 months later, he came to Malaysia and we traveled to Malacca, Penang, Vietnam and Hong Kong. He met my family and they love him. My mother now refers to him as “my son”. Now, I’d love to sit here and blab on about how my perfect relationship with my perfect boyfriend is in my perfect life. I’ve seen many girls raise their boyfriends to Disney prince level. We are sold such picture perfect representation, which isn’t reality and it creates a haze. I find love hard. But that sentiment is typically fueled often by my menstrual cycle, a monthly phase in my life where all men are toxic. Ridiculous, I know. But I am a woman and while we are so many wonderful things, we are all surely ridiculous. It makes us far more interesting than men, but it it also is never a smooth ride. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing negative to say about Michael, quite the contrary, he is a remarkable man and one I am honoured to call my boyfriend. But we have had our problems. Just last week, we argued about a lamp and things got weird for two days. So to sit here and write about how we made it to month 12, feels like a triumph in one way or another. Anyways, so yes the road of love can be tumultuous, for me at least. I might be hard to love. I might make love too hard. I don’t know. But I will say this, this is what I’ve learned this year: he is he and you are you. I simply decided to let the expectations, the plans and the infinite what ifs to unravel and instead to love with ease. Life is manic but love should be calm.
To Michael: Happy 1 Year! Let’s try making it to 20. I love you!